


Death By A Thousand Cuts

by letstakeiteasy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24299350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letstakeiteasy/pseuds/letstakeiteasy
Summary: “What's once is ours is no one's now.”
Relationships: Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. If the story is over, why am I still writing pages.

**Author's Note:**

> Based in my real life experience.  
> Letter to him: Thanks for making me experience the wild ride of loving someone and being in a relationship. I don’t regret anything because at that time, you were exactly who I needed.

“Here we are.“

They both step out of the car and walk side by side, Kyungsoo slowly brushing his arms and hands near Jongin as they both laugh at an old joke they remember.

“Kiss me.” Kyungsoo nods and they do, laughing a little afterwards as they go down the trail.

Kyungsoo briefly thinks that whatever they’re doing seems laughable to people who know the situation, However, for him, it's something that makes him happy and in pain at the same time. He's willing to take both.

Him and Jongin are together— just as friends. If this is what friends are supposed to be doing. Friends who hold hands, kiss, makeout and have sex. 

Jongin glances at Kyungsoo, “So this is the bridge where I first touched you that way.”

Kyungsoo laughs at what Jongin said since it's usually him who brings it up first. “Yeah. And it was cold that day too.”

They both look at the scenery in front of them. It's the same but different seasons. The same but different labels. The same but different feelings. Oh, how sad is it to see everything change except this place.

“This is nice,” Jongin says.

“I know,” Kyungsoo replies. “I'm glad I went out.”

“This is what you're gonna miss once either of us get into a new relationship,” Jongin says as he looks at Kyungsoo. “You'll miss this, not the sex.”

Laughing to hide the pain, Kyungsoo nods. He knows that he'll miss the park dates and drives, but he'll miss his company the most. He knows he won’t get over Jongin and whatever they have for a long time. It'll always be Jongin who gets to move forward first and try again with other people. Kyungsoo knows that and already accepts the pain, like he always does.

“But right now, let's just enjoy.” Jongin smiles.

They’re both aware that they still like each other despite breaking up. However, simply liking each other will not bring back whatever Kyungsoo wants. Jongin has made up his mind that they just don't match as a couple. Even though Kyungsoo is aware of this, he’s still willing to risk it again for that man. That man, however, he did not feel the same. Kyungsoo didn't know it would hurt like this.

They both decide to go home now as Kyungsoo's parents are already looking for him. Taking the chance, he grabs Jongin's hands. He just wants to grab all the opportunity to do everything. 

“I can't believe I paid for all our food today,“ Jongin complains and Kyungsoo laughs. “Next time, you have to pay for it. I've been driving you around all day.”

Looking around and seeing no one, Kyungsoo turns Jongin by his arms and kisses him. “Thanks.”

Laughing, Kyungsoo looks at Jongin. He's not part of the plan. He's supposed to be just a friend in the beginning, but that man's too good— too good with words, actions and being himself. Kyungsoo knew from the start he's going to be doomed once this ends. However, risking it was the only option he could see. He still doesn't regret it though.

“So where are we going next time?”

Kyungsoo smiles a little, “Where do you want to go?”

To most people, it's wrong to still be doing whatever they’re doing. To most people, they don't get how Kyungsoo doesn't see his self-worth. However, Kyungsoo thinks he'll just eat up whatever Jongin can serve until he finally gets none. He'll regret it in the future, but right now, this is something that makes him happy.


	2. I see daylight

Texting his mom that he'll be out for a while, Kyungsoo closes the door and waits for Jongin's arrival.

It had only been two days since they last saw each other, but Kyungsoo insisted on going out again. After several attempts, Jongin finally agreed when the weather finally cleared up. 

Patiently waiting on the swing, Kyungsoo thinks about their date the other day. He honestly feels different today, so he wants to see what it's about by meeting Jongin. Scrolling through Twitter, he receives a text from Jongin that he has arrived. 

“Hey,” Kyungsoo greets as he clicks on his seatbelt. “So, are we still going to that park?”

“Yeah,” Jongin looks at him. “Do you have any other place in mind?”

Shaking his head, Jongin nods and starts driving. As usual, Kyungsoo starts talking about anything that pops into his mind. Jongin isn’t as engaged, not liking the topics he’s bringing up, so Kyungsoo stops. They remain quiet the entire ride while listening to country songs like they always do.

“Be the guide for today,” Jongin suggests as they step out of the car.

“I'm not good with directions,” Kyungsoo says.

Jongin laughs, “We'll be fine. I'll follow you behind.”

“No, I like being the one behind.” Kyungsoo insists. “It's just straight ahead.”

Jongin laughs at him, but Kyungsoo can't share that he likes looking at him from the back. He likes thinking about the feeling of clinging, hugging and cuddling with him. 

However, today feels like something has changed between them. Kyungsoo can't place the exact feeling just yet, so he shrugs it off.

“I wanna run,” Jongin turns around. “Should we run?”

“I'm fine, go run if you'd like.” Kyungsoo says and Jongin starts running.

Usually, he would say no to Jongin and insist that they stick to walking while talking. It’s weird, it’s new. Looking at the running figure of his ex-boyfriend, Kyungsoo tries to put all the pieces together. 

Arriving at the bridge, he sees Jongin looking at the view in front of him. Kyungsoo takes his time strolling and taking a picture, savoring the views he's seeing for the first time. Jongin greets him, motioning at Kyungsoo to sit down on a nearby wooden bench.

Taking the view all in, Kyungsoo remembers the song he’s been humming along the trail. It’s a song about finding new love in someone. A song about taking another risk after failing at love many times. Glancing at his ex-boyfriend and now supposedly friend, Kyungsoo realizes he wants to feel treasured again— but not with him. Not with someone who vows to offer the world when he's happy but turns around and gives empty promises at the first signs of unhappiness/unsteadiness. Not with someone who can easily make him feel unworthy. Not with someone who Kyungsoo can throw his happiness to just make him happy. Kyungsoo wants to be free from that, from him.

“Should we go back?” Jongin asks. “I’m hungry.”

Kyungsoo nods and for the first time, he walks in front of Jongin.


End file.
